I would like to start off by thanking Benoit for allowing me to share my work on this website and to thank all of you who have been reading from my first book, “Enabimnio” during the past few weeks.
Click here for the Books:
BOOKS WILL BE RELEASED SOON ONLINE ON ENABIMNIO.COM
I first began writing a series of books, that Benoit has introduced here, exactly two years ago when I had a sudden moment of clarity that began a healing journey which continued to this day. I was reading “The Four Agreements” by Miguel Luiz when I got a “hit” to go outside and read the book aloud. “Kinda weird”, I thought but I felt so strongly about this there was no question about doing it. While walking across the 6th street bridge from East LA towards my home in downtown Los Angeles, I read the book aloud while wondering whether the passing drivers thought that I might be a bit dimwitted for reading along with my moving lips.
As I read, the sound of my own voice began to irritate me. I began to notice how much I disliked the sound of my own voice: too high and too nasal. I could see that my arms too were skinny from not going to the gym and my skin was starting to freckle and show signs of age. All these thoughts were running in my head parallel to the text which I was reading aloud and listening to. I suddenly stopped thinking about myself so much and started to focus on what I was reading. I was reading a beautifully written passage about self-acceptance!
Right there on the 6th street bridge was the first time that I really got it. That the only person who had been rejecting me and judging me and telling me that I was not enough just as I was, was me. Well, that didn’t make any sense.
“What’s the point of not accepting myself?” I thought, “Not accepting myself doesn’t make any sense. I am me; after all and I look the way I look, I sound the way I sound and I am the age that I am. I am not anything or anyone other than who I find myself to be right at this moment. Why not just accept that guy and be happy.” For the first time in my 40 years of living I just knew, with this startling clarity, the “fact” that fighting with me about me was a stupid thing to be doing.
Now how do to this? What’s the cure? I’ve had plenty of cathartic moments in my life, and wonderful and enlightening as they are, they have not necessarily changed my bad habits. Knowing exactly why I’m doing something that is self-damaging hasn’t always made me stop doing it. I’ve always wanted catharsis to work for me like it does for the people in the movies, but it has never seemed to work out that easy. I knew that with that realization there would be some work to do. So I said out loud, “I want to learn to accept myself. I want to learn to accept all of myself”
That night while falling asleep I heard the opening line to Enabimnio in my head, “I accept all that is good about me, I accept that all is not bad.” Clever line I thought as it kept rolling around in my head. The line wouldn’t leave me alone so I got up and garbed a blank notebook and wrote it down. At that point the flood gates open and I proceeded to write the “Poem of Acceptance” just as Benoit has presented it here. As I was writing I would read the lines out loud as I did the Miguel Luiz book on the 6th Street Bridge and I could tell by the tone and timbre of my voice whether or not I believed in what I was saying. The first line that caught me was, “I accept myself accepting acceptance.” Even though I wrote it I was lying when I said it so I just kept saying it over and over until I felt comfortable saying it. Anytime my voice would quiver or weaken I knew that my core belief about myself was not in alignment with what the words on the page were saying. By saying the line over and over until it, “locked-in” I was changing my belief structure about myself right there in that moment-and it worked!
I read the poem many times that night always aloud. At each reading, I accepted the concepts more and allowed them to sink deeper into me. The next day, I felt the proof would exist if this poem/spell/mantra thing I had written actually had the power to change the way of my thinking. It did!
I wondered why I was writing only one sentence per page; “To slow you down so you can feel what you are saying” was the answer I got. The reason for one sentence per page is because I decided that I want each page to have a single statement of truth that I could tear out of the book and stick on my wall until I got it.
That’s how the book works essentially. You could read the book to yourself and it can help you change the way you think OR you could read the book out loud to yourself and it can change the way you feel about yourself. I find the latter much more valuable.
I discover that my brain starts to believe whatever it hears if I tell it over and over. It’s really kind of dumb in that sense that it accepts a program pretty easily. Repeat it enough and the brain starts to take it as truth. POLITICIANS AND ADVERTISERS ARE VERY AWARE OF THIS. Why not use this mechanism in order to get us to believe some real negative stuff about ourselves to good use? That’s what Enabimnio and the books to follow are all about. I hope that you enjoy them. I hope you are able to learn new levels of self-healing and growth through them. I would be profoundly pleased if this turns out to be so.